The Text
by darklittleobsession
Summary: John texts Sherlock and an adventure ensues. Pre-Reichenbach, Johnlock. Eventual smut, based on roleplay.


Pick up the milk.  
JW

Why?  
SH

Because some people need it  
for their breakfast?  
JW

I'm busy, John.  
SH

With what? Don't tell me you're  
busy with the telly again?  
JW

No, dull …  
I'm doing an experiment  
SH

If I find fingers in toaster  
one more time, I swear.  
JW

That was for a case, John!  
And besides you pass the store on the way here.  
You get the milk!  
SH

Ever think I may be busy?  
JW

Doing what!?  
SH

The case you sent me to work on!?  
JW

Oh that…  
It was just to get you out of the flat…  
SH

Oh right,  
So you could do your 'experiments'  
And avoid your brother.  
JW

I can do my experiments whenever I want!  
SH

Fine I'll get the milk.  
JW

You could have decided that before  
wasting all this time texting.  
SH

I understand. I'll be home soon.  
Try not to blow up the flat.  
JW

You may need to buy a sewing kit.  
SH

Can you even sew?  
JW

That is irrelevant!  
SH

Anything else you need while I'm out?  
JW

What's your favourite colour?  
SH

Royal blue?  
Why do you ask?  
JW

I'm sorry about your jumper…  
SH

What did you do?  
JW

Now John, don't get mad.  
This time it really was an accident.  
SH

How do you accidentally ruin a jumper!?  
JW

By grabbing the first available thing  
to put out an acid fire.  
SH

And how did you manage to  
start an acid fire in the flat?  
JW

Oil, vinegar, a match, an eyeball…  
SH

Remind me to stop asking.  
JW

You should know what I do by now…  
SH

Did you learn anything from your experiment?  
JW

Don't use your flatmate's jumper?  
SH

Anything else you need?  
JW

I need you to go to Scotland Yard  
and check if Lestrade has any more cases.  
SH

I thought you were working a case…  
JW

Tedious, simple.  
SH

I'm sure he would call you if anything came up.  
JW

I'm bored, John.  
SH

I'll be home soon, try not to give  
Miss Hudson a heart attack  
JW

I told you to go to Scotland Yard!  
SH

I told you he will call if something comes up.  
JW

I'm sitting in my chair with a gun pointed at the wall.  
Go to Scotland Yard!  
SH

What do you have against the wall?  
JW

The wall paper's terrible.  
SH

I'll stop by Scotland Yard.  
Anything else you need?  
JW

A virtual kiss?  
SH

Very funny, Sherlock.  
JW

Did I tell a joke?  
SH

Wasn't that a joke?  
JW

Not really…  
SH

Oh…  
JW

So… virtual kiss?  
SH

I thought you didn't care for such things.  
JW

Well finishing the case gave me  
an adrenalin rush.  
SH

I see, but why does it necessarily  
have to be from your flatmate.  
I'm sure Molly would be more than happy.  
JW

I've told you, women aren't my area.  
SH

Yes, but asking something like that is a bit strange.  
JW

For God's sakes!  
*KISS*  
SH

So thr's a cdse that ypu might br intrwst]d in.  
JW

Alright…  
Is your spell check not on?  
SH

It's not working propjrly.  
I'll tell you the dealis on thw case when gwt nack.  
JW

I could get you a new phone if yours is broken.  
SH

That isn't the problem here… the virtual kill is.  
JW

*KISS! My auto-correct is working again.  
JW

…So what's the case about?  
SH

It's easier to explain in person.  
JW

Fine, come home soon. :)  
SH

Sherlock…  
What is that?  
JW

A face?  
SH

I see that.  
Why?  
JW

Trying to be (as you say on your blog) cute.  
SH

I thought you didn't read my blog.  
JW

Why do you think I borrow your laptop?  
SH

To read my blog?  
JW

Yes.  
SH

Oh.  
JW

Can you come home now?  
I miss you.  
SH

You're just bored.  
JW

I'm only bored when you're not here…  
SH

Thanks.  
JW

I'm trying to make a point, John.  
SH

I think I got the point.  
JW

Do you really?  
You're not the most luminous of people,  
But as a conductor of light you are unbeatable.  
SH

Again … thanks.  
JW

John! Just come back to the flat so that  
I can tell you that I love you face to face.  
SH

Oh.  
SH

… You're awfully direct.  
JW

I didn't mean to be so direct in a text.  
Why couldn't you deduce it!?  
SH

Well I sort of assumed so…  
For example when you wanted a kiss.  
JW

You never kissed me back.  
SH

[a few minutes later]

*kiss*  
… there  
JW

You're too cute. Gathering up the courage  
for a virtual kiss.  
SH

You shouldn't call a grown man cute…  
JW

I'm Sherlock Holmes and you're my blogger.  
I have every right to call you cute.  
SH

Touche…  
JW

So how long until you get home?  
SH

Very soon.  
JW

I want the facts John.  
SH

I have the paperwork for the case.  
JW

Good…  
What are you going to call this one?  
SH

The Navel Treatment.  
You'll see why.  
JW

Oooh, I'm excited now.  
SH

Are you sure you're not the cute one?  
JW

Are you trying to flirt, John Watson?  
SH

No.  
I'm just stating the facts.  
JW

I've trained you well.  
SH

I learn from the best.  
JW

Do you know that you're irreplaceable, John?  
SH

What's gotten you into such a…  
romantic mood?  
JW

That's your fault, although I don't blame you.  
SH

It's my fault yet you don't blame me…?  
JW

I can't blame you, John.  
I just can't. I don't know why.  
Is that not good?  
SH

I'm here.  
JW


End file.
